The Sweet Life

I'm trying to get back into blogging.  I think part of the reason I stopped was because I used to blog about my experiences and my feelings.  Then I got a blog about my baby and that's where most of the family adventures went.  So that left this blog to be about feelings.  And when it comes to feelings...there is only so much you want to expose to even your closest of friends.  Am I right?  So now I've got to find a balance of feelings and experiences that won't feel like a repeat of my public blog.


When Tyler and I moved to Utah we decided it was time to stop spending so much time being anti-social.  Everywhere we moved I've had great intentions.  I had big plans for making lots of friends and not being shy and awkward around people.  It's hard though.  It's who I am.  I'm an awkward person.  And I always worry so much about my awkwardness.  I second guess everything I do, worried about what people will think.  I'm working on it though.  We decided to invite some couples over for a game night.  Most the couples were related to us in some way or another, and then I decided to invite a couple from the ward who I had gotten to know a little bit.  After inviting them I started panicking...what would they think about the fact that they were the only people not related to us?  Was it weird that I invited them?  Was it weird that I invited my relatives?  What if they didn't like hanging out with us?  What if people hated each other?  What if they hated me?  What if, what if, what if?!  Good news.  It turned out fine.  And we organized another game night the next month.  And then we had a mini football party for the BYU-Utah game last week (granted it was all family there too but...at least I'm inviting people over!)  Tyler and I are both rather proud of our jump into society. 

Oh, and I'm training for a triathlon.  Tyler has been dreaming of doing one for a while now, but he didn't want to train alone.  He couldn't find anyone he wanted to train with though and when he asked me, I responded with a big, fat "no!".  I hate running.  I hate swimming.  I hate biking.  Why on earth would I want to do a triathlon?  That's like 3 forms of torture for me!  So Tyler started training on his own.  And then life happened and he ended up in Germany and...well, that kind of put a damper on his training.  He started up again when we moved here but didn't feel the same motivation.  It's hard doing it alone.  So I gave in.  I told him I will train, but I'm not going to compete.  He thinks I'm silly for putting in all the work without getting to that final goal but...I'm doing this to support him, not to fulfill some life-long dream of mine!  Maybe in a few months I'll change my mind.  We'll see.

Finally...I thought about making this blog public.  I had people comment on how they can no longer find it because their invitation has expired or because they don't want to make their own blog profile.  It makes it inconvenient, but that's why I started the public baby blog...it gives you a mini idea of our lives.   That's just it, though.  It's mini.  It's like brushing the surface.  It's usually the same things I'd tell a complete stranger in the supermarket line (if that stranger happened to ask, that is.  I don't just randomly start showing off pictures of my child and telling stories while we wait to be rung up).  There isn't a lot of depth to it.  But the depth I share here (which isn't even as deep as I could go, or as some people go) I don't necessarily want just anyone reading.  And I certainly don't want random people stumbling across it.  There are some scary people in my past that I sometimes worry about having resurface.  I don't think they will but I still find that I am paranoid about being too public and accessible.  So what should I do?  Do I make this public, share my feelings, and risk being found by people I don't want finding me?  Do I make it public but take out the details that make it MY blog?  Or do I keep it private and recognize that only half a dozen people will get the half-real me instead of the super-public me?

This post is long and has no pictures and is probably super boring.  Kudos to you if you've read to this point.  So as a reward...it's picture time.

My baby is adorable. 

And is now walking. 

We are very proud.  He is probably more proud than the rest of us, though. 

Jamison loves that he can get wherever he wants just like we can.  He spends his days walking in circles around the house. 

I couldn't be happier for him...except when he begins asserting that independence at inconvenient times.  Like at the library yesterday when I wouldn't let him wander down all the aisles pulling out books.  When I grabbed his hand and tried to lead him to where I was looking at books, Jamison's scream was so loud and high pitched that we left the library without getting any books.  And the hardest part of Jamison being mobile?  The extra possibility for injury.  Today he tripped over my feet and face planted it into a side table.

Ouch, right?  Oh but babies are surprisingly strong.  He cried for a while and made me super nervous but now he's mostly fine.  Swollen and bruised but acting completely normal.  Aren't babies amazing?