Confession:
I'm not at all baby hungry. Like...at all. I see people's newborns and think "aw, cute. I'm so glad I don't have one." I love my son. SO much. But I don't want another one. I love Jamison, and he's all I want. One day I know I probably will have another kid or two. I know we are supposed to multiply and replenish the earth. I will work to do my part. But not today. And not for a while. Maybe when my husband and I live together for more than three months at a time. Maybe.
I feel guilty admitting it though. I feel weird when I listen to my friends go on and on about how they love being mothers and can't wait to have more kids. I listen to the ones who are impatient to be pregnant again. I watch them play with their two kids and dream about having three more. And I wonder if I'm weird. Or if there is something wrong with me. I'm a married woman, shouldn't I want kids? Like...lots of them? Or at least more than one? Isn't it "the world's" viewpoint that one is enough and not God's? Am I a sinner? Also, what changed? Because when I was a teenager I always said I wanted 7 kids. Then again...I also didn't want to get married and planned to adopt the kids AND become the first woman president. Sometimes our life plans have to change and adjust to what life brings us. I just worry that not wanting more children means I'm broken somehow.
But ending on a happy note...look at my cute baby! (who, by the way, is now 11 months old. Where has the time gone?!)
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5 comments:
You are not weird for thinking this. I'm sure when the time is right, you will want to have more kids. Having Tyler home for more than a couple of weeks every few months would probably help with that desire too.
If it makes you feel any better I do consider myself baby hungry. But um I don't actually want my own baby, I love to play and hold other people's babies, but I love just as much to give them back when I'm through. So no I don't think your odd or wrong or sinful I think your just not at that point in your life.
I think people are different and while some are fine with 10+ kids others will be happier and do better with less kids. There's nothing wrong with you for not being baby hungry and you are by no means a sinner for it!! I do think one day you'll have more kids but they will come when both you and Tyler are in a place to be able to be ready for them. You are an amazing mom and that is what matters!
Don't feel bad about it, I am completely in the same boat. I LOVE to cuddle tiny newborns and see how small they are (and think that it's not possibly Soren was ever that tiny...). But I am happy to give the newborn back and while I miss the newborn stage I have no desire at this point to have another baby. I am happy with my one and will be, I think, for a few years, I want to enjoy having one child to spoil with all of my attention before I have to worry about dividing my time between two kids...no baby hungriness over here either. :)
Oh Tenika, Tenika, I love you. Don't feel bad. Everyone is different. When Kylee was born I thought I was going to die from lack of sleep. As long as you are letting Heavenly Father be part of your decision making, you have NOTHING to be ashamed of! I think there a lot of people who feel similar to you.
I keep thinking I want to wait before I have more but... I have endometriosis so the longer I wait, the harder it will be for me to get pregnant. I'm quite torn, I want more and if I want more the best time is now but... I just don't know if I'd handle it well. I'm pretty grumpy all of the time from lack of sleep as it is. Three kids taking turns keeping me up, all the while Jeff not being able to help because his school schedule is INSANE... I don't know.
I want more, but can I really handle it NOW (not to mention afford it)?
Hmm... I guess I'll just have to have more faith
I go in and out of wanted a baby like every day. I'm like, oh, I want a baby! And then I count to nine months and I'm like. . . eeeehhhhh. Haha. But I think part of it is that when we are grown ups we can think of our immediate life more realistically, as well as what we can realistically handle right now.
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