My mom has started a blog and as I read hers, and keep up with my other friends', I am realizing that I am an awful blogger. I write so irregularly and only when I think I have something *amazing* to say. I don't find my life very amazing, so I don't write much.
I have spent the past week pondering how I can improve myself. You could say that I am starting New Year's Resolutions a little late. So I've come up with some goals for myself and I think maybe I will add blogging to the list...though it will be closer to the bottom of the list than say...oh, reading my scriptures...
Things in my life are a little hectic, but not in the sense that I am always running around with things to do; just that the things I am doing cause a lot of stress. Let me revise that a little. Not even the things I am doing...the things that people I am interacting with are doing. For example: My grandpa is dying. Personally, I have no control over the situation and I haven't DONE anything (besides be sad and say my goodbye) yet it has caused a lot of stress within myself and in my family.
One big problem I have discovered while going through this experience with my grandfather is that I am not a patient person. I already knew that I had a hard time waiting in lines and hated waiting for big holidays or for visits from friends...but I had no idea I had such a short temper! I have been so frustrated with people who haven't responded the way I think they should to my grandfather's situation. I had a friend ask me the other day how I was doing and when I told them my grandpa was dying this friend kind of breezed over it...I was so offended!
When I really think about though, people don't know how to approach death. Even having dealt with death in my life before, I still don't know how to approach it. The experience is such a personal one, and everyone deals with it different. Even the same person will deal with different deaths in different ways. You can be darn sure I am feeling differently in this situation with my grandfather than I felt when I was informed that my dear friend had passed away. Yet I still get offended when people don't respond to my feelings the way I want them to where death is concerned. That's something I personally need to work on.
Other stressful things in my life: (a) work! Who knew it could be so darn stressful trying to find green eyeshadow??? There is a lady who wants a very specific shade of green eyeshadow to match a very specific outfit and I have had the hardest time trying to please her. (b) church. More specifically, my church calling. And even more specifically...learning how to deal with kids who can't sit still and shut their trap while you are trying to teach!!! It has been so frustrating to me that 3 of the kids will sit and be quiet and really try to learn, and the other 2 or 3 will be silly and refuse to pay attention or even be quiet. What's a teacher to do?! (c) the future. People have sometimes told me I need to live more in the present and stop thinking about the future so much but...I just can't help it. I like to have a plan. Plus how can we not all be a little stressed with economic doom being preached on television. I don't want to live in a cardboard box!
1 comment:
Tenika, it is soooo good to hear that I'm not the only one with issues. Our neighbors are causing me a lot of un-necessary grief along with other things in life. So as I was reading your blog I came up with a solution for the both of us. We need a trip to the Lord's house. Take yourself on a date, take your little sister and brother too perhaps, but most importantly take yourself! :) I will be sure to follow my advise. :) Love you!
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