Sunday I was feeling a bit cranky. Tyler had come to visit for the weekend, and that is always nice. We were able to put up the Christmas tree and spend time together, as well as celebrate his dad's birthday. But when he left Sunday afternoon...I got really cranky. I think I probably always do when he leaves.
With this cranky mood came a lot of complaints. I started thinking about all the stressful and frustrating things going on right now in my life. How hard it is to have Tyler away. The fact that our records haven't made it to this ward yet. The new calling I received despite our missing records. How homesick the holidays have made me feel. The constant nagging I hear in my head about whether I will make a good mom or not.
So I went to the First Presidency Christmas Devotional needing to be cheered up. Needing it badly. And thankfully, I found it. If you haven't read/listened to it yet, please do. Whether you are LDS or not, it's a message we can all use in our lives.
Now I'm working daily to dispel my cranky moods, my homesickness, my feelings of worthlessness...and focus on the spirit of Christmas. On the gift our Savior gave us. And trying to find ways to give a gift back to him this Christmas.
Because even though this:
makes me smile, service brings a feeling of happiness that will last a lot longer.
2 comments:
I love this post, and Ten you know your going to make a wonderful mother even if you don't feel like it. As for everything else know your not alone in those feelings.
I am trying to focus on service this year, too. I don't know how successful I'm being yet -- but I'm trying to start with baby-steps and work my way up. =) I sure know that cranky feeling -- it esp happens at dinnertime and bedtime -- both times that I really want to be happy family times. You'll get through this! Thank goodness for pick-me-ups like the Christmas Devotional!
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